waiting

the sea games preview on soccer is boring me out. im leaving the tv on because im waiting for (what might be the most interesting thing tonight) renovaid. sighs, the annoying voice of the commentator cannot get any more detrimental to my ears. gawd.

if renovaid was anticipated throughout my entire day, you might’ve guessed the kind of thursday it was for me. -.-

alas

year end is just around the corner. time flies so quickly that its absurdly unbelievable. its a sleepless night and i wish not to drift away in a long chain of sad reflections (nor churn out one). i’ve had my fair share of that and i believe its starting to sound like complains.

moving on, though time in kl was short, it was certainly sweet. four days and three nights, i woke up to mornings where i didnt feel an ounce of lethargy. everyday had a destination. every destination had a goal. putting it into the bigger picture – i think life should be led like this.

mommy says..

choose a boy who loves you over the boy you love.

tried and tested – choosing the boy who loves you ensue circumstances where he’s likely to be there when you most need him.

but because mankind is imperfect, choosing the one you love does not guarantee the absence of heartaches (it may hurt less, though). need i say more about choosing the one you love? the waiting, the uncertainty, and the list goes on.

in short, love is not meant for those seeking comfort, security, or company.

but if love comes, then accept it only when you’re ready to understand that romantic relationships do not kill insecurity and loneliness. those are issues that must be dealt by you and your mind.

strangers to friends to strangers..

a while ago, i bumped into an ex classmate. i instinctively diverged eye contact away from her, hoping to get away unnoticed.. she strolled on towards me, her eyes still glued to her ex classmate  who seemed immersed in something else. i walked past her without the slightest intent to acknowledge her. of course, i felt rotten. but i thought (and still do think) that this  feeling was temporary, and it was truckloads better than having to deal with long awkward pauses in between our conversation or asking questions of the things i dont really want to know.

boy, i sure am self-absorbed.

i should stop wishing..

that you’ll chance upon this.

that one day would come.

that things  happened otherwise.

that i could never remember.

forever.

scarification is in, and  its free. get yours today.

2009

have you ever stood by the sidewalks as the cars whizzed by, wishing you could pen down those thoughts right at that instance? this occurs to me alot, because it was hard getting the incidences off my mind..

year before last i lamented on how tough life was. but it was nothing compared to what i had on my hands this year. 2009 is trying. i began my life as a student again – night classes are  true tests of your endurance.  2009 is trying. my heart is closed. 2009 is trying. sometimes i wonder why i feel so old, when im brimming with youth.

2009 is trying. and im glad its going to be over.

mmmmmmmmmmmmright.

society seems to be falling apart, families are breaking up and subjects like emotions and attachments have become secondary. maybe they are, but modernity fails to see how these ”secondary subjects” shouldn’t be sidelined. because everything has to be driven upon objectivity and rationality, certain things have to be ruled out. but things dont always work well this way.

today’s another lazy saturday; my perfect opportunity to redeem sleep lost over the months.

yay

breather

exams are merely a week or two away, so technically, it isnt the most appropriate time to enjoy this breather. but who cares? its just today.

like i’ve said before im probably inches away from the margin of the black hole of burn out. alas, the impromptu, heckcare, i dont give a shit break is here. occasionally, i’d sneak a peek at the notes but it wouldnt drive me up the wall, shouldn’t let it either. succumbing and celebrating this idleness comes only once every blue moon, guess i should grab it while its here.

 right now, life is defined as this dreadful weekend of morbidly intense mugging. when its over, i’m positive that itd transform into weekends of amusing, kaleidoscopic adventures. yum. whatever it’d be – idling at home, or ladies night, i dont care, because for sure, it’ll be better than this.

god is great, because it has started to rain.